The New Corp Speak

My coworker, Eli, and I were talking about corporate speak, the business savvy jargon that relies heavily on mixed metaphors. Outside the box, up-selling, kicking the tires - these are all repeated ad nauseum, despite the fact that some people have no idea what they mean. So we spent the day inventing a few phrases of our own. My favorites appear below:

Bikini wax the sun v. - to expect the impossible.
Minesweeper n. - a time-waster (person or thing).
Ooby dooby v. or n. - to make a mistake. An error.
Lift the skirt (or poke the bulge) v. - to investigate or test.
Peanuts and Coke n. - a period of lean economic policies.
Reduce the boob v. - to cut benefits.

An example:

"Listen up, people. I know there have been some rumblings in the office lately about layoffs and cutting costs and all that. But I wanna reassure you - the last thing we wanna do is reduce the boob around here. Honestly. We're family. That being said, there isn't a lot coming in or going out. You know that. So we need to run tight - it's gonna be peanuts and Coke around here for a while. We're not asking you guys to bikini wax the sun, but it's important we pound the pavement and do our homework on this Holmstead deal. I know you folks in accounting are really lifting the skirt on that project and I thank you. The rest of you: no minesweepers. We have our work cut out for us and we're an ooby dooby away from being another Pete Best. So get out there, fight the good fight, use your bootstraps, and try not to pet the rabbits along the way."