On writing

I came to a realization the other night about writing, an epiphany which probably seems obvious to writers who've been in the game for a while. Lately, I've been searching for places to submit some of my short, prose fiction. I was about to take down a list of publications when it struck me: What will getting a short story published do for me? What do I hope to parlay out of that experience? Truly, I don't mean to bash short stories, short story publications, or short story writers - "Stories" by John Cheever is one of my favorite books. Forgetting the fact that the competition in the short fiction market is supremely daunting, publication in a small press does not typically equal further accolades, a book deal, or even a relationship with a publisher. So unless I singularly desire to write short stories for a living or see myself as the next Tobias Wolff, it's ridiculous to focus on this form of writing. I would (and hopefully will) be better served focusing on my interest in young adult fiction, screenwriting, satire, comics, and non-fiction prose.

All of this lead me back to an age-old pondering of what it means to be a writer. I used to place a lot of stipulations on this label - before calling myself a "writer," I had to earn some money doing it or, at the very least, see some of my work published. Now, I look at writing similarly to the way I view running, one of my other pastimes. Entering a marathon or half-marathon or 10K - or somehow, miraculously, winning any of these races - is not the sole defining characteristic of being a runner. That reeks of elitism. A runner is a runner because of the simple, arduous task of hitting the pavement, counting the miles, weathering the aches, and doing it again the next day. It's a little hokey, I know, but I've discovered a positive outlook is essential in both running and writing.

Where The Wild Things Are

Rarely have I found myself so excited over an upcoming movie, let alone one adapted from a picture book I loved when I was young, but after seeing the just-released trailer for "Where the Wild Things Are" and discovering that it was directed by Spike Jonze and co-written by Dave Eggers, I'm almost totally won over.

I'm not sure why - maybe it's recent stress - but the trailer kinda makes me wanna bawl ---


And here's the splendid movie poster ---

For the time being...

Hello readers. I realize I gave forewarning about this about two weeks ago, but for the time being P.O.A.B. will be put on hold while I'm waiting to hear back from grad programs. I sincerely hope to continue this little project, even while I'm in the midst of some other ventures (e.g. "The Modest Knight", "The Pith Report", etc.). I'll still try to post as often as I can, but I can't promise any regularity.

Thank you for reading.

I love you all.

New website

Hey all. With the help of a good friend - one who actually knows what he's doing - I am in the process of moving my satire blog from Blogspot to its own site. This way, I'm hoping to gain more net traffic (and maybe parlay it into some sort of part-time job). For those interested in seeing the new setup, it's http://www.pithreport.com/. Eventually, I'd also like to move the P.O.A.B. blog to a more personalized site but until further notice I'll be here (when I find the time).

Sometimes I wish I were a hot dog...

(photo by D. Shrigley)

...or a balloon...

(photo by D. Shrigley)

...because then I could stay in bed all day.

The tables have turned, buckle your seat belts, fear the reaper, checkmate...

I'm not a fan of "CSI" in any of its geographic incarnations (e.g. Miami, New York, Las Vegas, Akron, etc). It's poorly written, totally unbelievable, and ambiently lit for no good reason. (Without fail, the crime scene labs look like night clubs and the lab techs are all dressed like they're searching for someone to take them home). Even so, "CSI: Miami" reaches a terrible depth unmatched by its counterparts solely due to David Caruso's presence. Does anyone actually, honestly, unironically enjoy his act? He seems to have come to us straight from the William Shatner School of Acting, sans a needed dose of humor or self-deprecation. (I still hope his character is supposed to be so over-the-top). Don't believe me? Just give this a quick view ---

(David Caruso one-liners on "CSI: Miami")

List of the Week: Eight Words or Phrases Forever Ruined By Pop Culture

There is a definite baggage that hangs over the English language anymore. To borrow a tired phrase, "loaded words" populate much of our discourse anymore. And even though I enjoy quoting movies and songs as much as the next person (and usually more so), I can't help but think we've lost something (however minor) by not being able to say certain words or phrases.

Eight Words or Phrases Forever Ruined By Pop Culture:

1. "I just called to say I love you" - This 1980's Stevie Wonder hit is, let's be honest, god-awful in comparison to his earlier work. Even so, it's impossible to deny the wonderful sentiment that it conveys. But try saying this to someone without the awful song sticking in your head for the next few days.

2. "Just do it" - It may be the best ad slogan ever penned. And this is not because it represents the height of language, but because whenever anyone says it, outside of a Nike framework, it draws everyone back to that specific brand.

3. "Stop" - Question: How does a word like "stop" become ruined? Answer: M.C. Hammer, Vanilla Ice, and Diana Ross.

4. "I want the truth" - I challenge anyone to say this (even in the highest height of seriousness) and not silently hear the rejoinder: "You can't handle the truth!"

5. "Elementary" - It's totally demeaning and it has no correlative in the classic novels by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle but, my dear Watson, we're stuck with it.

6. "Domo arigato" - Mr. Roboto. STYX. 'Nuf said.

7. "Tastes great" - ...less filling," said all the dorks in the room.

8. "Gimme a break" - Kit Kat gave us not only one of the tastiest candy bars in history, but also one of the catchiest jingles ever written. Don't believe me? Gimme a break...